


Unhealed Wounds

by ih3artgerm



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-26
Updated: 2020-11-26
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:08:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27717940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ih3artgerm/pseuds/ih3artgerm
Summary: Hallucinations are sensory experiences that appear real but are created by your mind. They can affect all five of your senses. For example, you might hear a voice that no one else in the room can hear or see an image that isn't real.TRIGGER WARNING: MENTIONS OF PTSD!
Relationships: Hange Zoe x reader - Relationship, Hange Zoë & Reader, Hange Zoë/Reader, Hanji Zoe & Reader, Hanji Zoe x Reader, Hanji Zoe/Reader
Comments: 14
Kudos: 95





	Unhealed Wounds

**Author's Note:**

> This is by far the saddest story I have ever written in my life. The next one I publish will be the last part of my trilogy and I promise it will have a happy ending!

"Hanji, that's not going to work. You've already tried mixing those two chemicals together." You say, hoping the mad scientist will listen to your advice this time.

"Yes, it will. Can you trust me for once?" she rolls her eyes as you put your hands up, a sign of defeat. You take a few steps back, allowing Moblit to stand behind her.

"Section Commander, who... are you talking to?"

She turns around to face him, a confused expression taking over her features, "What do you mean?" She proceeds to change her focus to you. Your face matching hers, you both turn back to stare at the worried, brown-haired man.

"Hanji, there's no one there."

.

"Commander Erwin, it's happening again." You hear Moblit's voice coming from the office, the concern in his words is undeniable. You take a few steps forward and sit next to Hanji she doesn't take her eyes off her book, but she slides you her right hand while gently blushing, you flash her a smile and lace your fingers together.

"Do you have any idea why we are here?" You face the massive brown doors, a hint of uneasiness hiding in your voice. She shrugs her shoulders before letting out a clearly annoyed sight.

"Beats me, Moblit is always dragging me here, once he asked for a meeting with the Commander because Bean almost ate my leg and he thought it was a little too dangerous, but I know my poor Beannie was just trying to play."

You roll your eyes at her while letting out a quiet laugh, "Doesn't surprise me."

Staring at the clock, you can no longer hear the voices coming inside the room, Are they making a point to be quiet? you think to yourself but before you could share your thoughts with Hanji, Erwin's figure walks out of the room, followed by a very concerned Moblit.

"Hanji, come on in." His gentle but firm voice filling the air around you as he gestures towards the room. She closes her book before handing it to her assistant, as she walks past the two men you can see her eyes rolling.

"You too, Y/N."

"Oh shit."  
.

You can't read quite read his expression. An uneasiness settling in your stomach as you stand before the Commander, waiting for him to find the rights words.

"Do you know why you're here?" His voice echoes through the silent room, he doesn't sound mad, in reality, the tone of his voice gives away a fair amount of concern. Hanji looks down at her hands the entire time.

"Moblit seems to be concerned about something, but all I was trying to do is figure out how to..." The Commander raises his hand as a signal for her to stop talking. Hanji quickly closes her mouth and crosses her arms, her annoyance visible to anyone who looks at her. You take a deep breath.

"Sir, with all due respect, Hanji hasn't done anything dangerous." Your words seem to get lost in the air, almost as if he couldn't hear you. As you're about to resume your point, his voice echoes through the room one more time, cutting you off.

"You don't remember, do you?" You can make out the pity in his voice. You share a confused look with your girlfriend, neither of you has any idea what he's talking about. The sadness in his expression is as clear as his blue eyes.

"What are you... talking about, Sir?" He ignores you. Not out of malice, but he simply can not hear you. A red light flashes in your brain, clouding your vision slightly. You shake the sight off and look at Hanji, waiting for her reaction. 

"Erwin, did you not hear Y/N?" She asks while making her way towards you, your cold fingers touching her warm skin. The man standing in front of you takes a deep breath, it's almost unnoticeable but one small, gentle tear runs down his face.

"Please, come with me."

.

As you follow the Commander, a million thoughts go through your head, your main questions are where are you going and why is he acting like he can't hear you? You turn over to face Hanji, who has an angry expression taking over her features, clearly angry Erwin didn't address your question earlier that evening.

You can hear your footsteps against the grass as you follow him up a hill. Underneath a big tree, you see a small stone. As you take a closer look at it, you feel a pit opening in your stomach before nausea hits you. You look over at Hanji but her focus lays on the words ahead of you:

"Captain Y/N. Birth: 820. 

Death: 850."

It was a simple gravestone. The dark grey contrasts with the bright green grass. The words now floating in front of you as your body suddenly becomes heavier than iron. You fall flat on the ground, tears burning in your eyes.

"But.. Y/N is right here, how can that be?" Hanji's voice is barely audible, her body shaking as she tries to fight back tears of her own. As you look at her, the memories you tried so hard to bury hit you all at once.

.

The rain makes it hard for you to see anything, you can't use flares and the mud beneath your feet comes dangerously close to being quicksand. In the distance, you can see three titans. Two of them sprint in your direction as the last one walks relatively slowly.

"SQUADS 2 AND 3, TAKE DOWN BOTH 5 METER TITANS. ME AND SECTION COMMANDER HANJI WILL HANDLE THE 10 METER ONE!"

You pray they were able to hear you over the deafening sound of the thunder. As their horses shift to the right, you share a look with the brunette beside you, the excitement in her eyes is undeniable as you approach the massive creature. 

Once you're closer to the trees, you switch to your 3D Gear, the wind hits your body, undoing the suttle styling you did to your hair before leaving the walls. The titan closes the distance between you as you prepare to strike it. Hanji looks at you before nodding, "It's time!"

In a split of a second, your hook is caught on its arm and as you draw out your blades, ready to carve out its eyes, the titan pulls you down. You can feel the raindrops hit your face while your body falls. You can almost hear Hanji screaming your name through the thunder. A gentle but sad smile taking over your features as the titan grabs you before your body hits the ground.

You look at Hanji and realize she's running towards you without her gear. As you get closer and closer to the titan's mouth, your body goes numb. The foul smell from its mouth creating enormous nausea in your stomach. Your eyes wander down to the shine of her glasses as she's now being carried away by the Commander himself.

"It's ok, Hanji. I'll be ok."

Before you could even finish your track of thought, the excruciating pain of the titan's teeth ripping your flesh hits you. You're conscious long enough to let out one final scream as you feel the lower half of your body being torn apart. 

After a few seconds of such horrible pain, everything goes dark.

As you open your eyes, you find yourself sitting underneath an enormous tree. Not remembering where you are, what happened to you, or why you are here, you stand up and start walking forward, looking for a familiar face.

You walk for what it feels like hours but eventually make it back to the Scouts. A bright smile on your face as you run past the gates. All of your friends are crying but before you could ask what's wrong, you see Hanji's hair through a small window. 

You find her crying on the floor, ripped papers all over her, and her glasses behind the door. You sit by her side before wrapping your left arm around her waist. She looks up at you and allows herself to melt away in your arms.

"What happened, my love?" The gentle tone of your voice makes her forget what even happened in the first place. Her tears dry on their own as you start to play with her hair. Neither of you has talked about it ever since.

.

"So this is what happened. Why you were crying so hard that day." Your hands shift onto fists before punching the tree by your side. The unbearable sadness that takes over your body is indescribable.

"Hanji, hallucinations are fairly common symptoms of PTSD." Erwin says, touching her shoulder gently, "Let us help you get better."

"I don't want to let Y/N go." She says before covering her face with her hands, hiccups coming out of her body like you've never seen before. Your heart sinks as you watch her like that, but you realize one thing: for her to heal, you need to go.

And so you do. One final time, you lean towards her, gently moving her hair away from her cheeks as you place a simple kiss on it. Erwin shakes his head lightly for he could've sworn he saw her ponytail move, even without any wind. Reluctantly, you take a few steps forward and sit on the exact same spot you woke up a few months ago. 

A single tear escapes your eye, "Take care of yourself, Hanji. You're living for the two of us now."

Your body becomes so heavy you can't support it anymore, so you quietly lay down under the shadows of the leaves, watching as the two figures walk away. Before you allow yourself to go back to sleep, you say it one more time, just for her to hear.

"I love you."

And soon enough, everything turns dark one more time, but this is different. Now you can finally allow yourself to relax and sleep because you know she'll be ok and so will you.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed it! If you feel comfortable, please give me your opinion, it would mean a lot! <3


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